The above cartoon brings up many profound truths: It’s up to us; start small; little things matter; don’t give up; expectations are everything; be the change we want to see in the world; it’s always worth nurturing or creating something.

Of course, it’s not always that simple to plant flowers (literally or metaphorically). It’s easy to get paralyzed by thinking that whatever we do won’t be enough. I know I get caught up in that. I’m only one person; what can I do? Does it really matter?

This reminds me of the starfish story—one you may have heard me tell before. A storm strands thousands of starfish on the beach. A child walks along, picking up starfish and throwing them back into the sea, knowing they won’t otherwise survive. A passerby observes, “There’s so many, you’ll hardly make a difference.” The child pauses and replies, “But I’ll make a difference to this one.”

In some versions of the story, the passerby—inspired—joins in, and others follow until all the starfish have been safely returned to the ocean. This illustrates how any of us can lead by example, even if we don’t hold an important position or boast millions of social media followers—we just need to do the right thing.

Which as always raises the question of, “What is the right thing?” Last year I wrote that I believed we were in the middle of an unprecedented crisis. I still do, and if anything, it is only deepening. Some of you may know exactly what I’m referring to; others may not. Which brings me to Bad Bunny.

I’d never heard of Bad Bunny beyond his name and knew nothing about his music. He was irrelevant to my daily life: I’m not Latina, not Puerto Rican, not particularly on top of pop culture. But of course, if you are any of those things, your response would be, “HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW WHO BAD BUNNY IS?!?!?”

I think it’s the same in politics, where those who follow the news (no matter the degree of their obsession), are flabbergasted that so many people in the United States either have no idea or don’t care what is going on in the halls of Congress, or at the Supreme Court, or with the presidency (in any era, not just now).

That doesn’t make them bad people, just as my ignorance of Bad Bunny doesn’t reflect on my character. We are interested in things that have meaning to us, and for many folks, politics doesn’t make the cut. It feels removed from our day-to-day lives and especially if you’re just trying to survive, there’s not a lot of attention span left for something that feels so disconnected.

But then something happens that sparks curiosity. In my case, I heard Bad Bunny won the Grammy for best album, and then my housemate shared a post in response to folks angry about him being the halftime entertainment at the Super Bowl, saying he should go home to his country. The post was pointing out that Puerto Rico, home to Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio (aka Bad Bunny), is not a country but an American territory, meaning he is a U.S. citizen.

That ignited my interest so I did a little research, listened to some of his songs (they’re fun) and enjoyed watching the halftime show. As a result, I now know much more about his life and motivations, the Puerto Rican struggle for resources and recognition, and why his show was so meaningful for many Latinos in this country. It can be the same way with politics—there needs to be something that makes it personal. And there needs to be an invitation to learn, not scorn or shame if you don’t already know.

If I had been scorned or shamed for not knowing about Bad Bunny I probably would have doubled down and decided I would have nothing to do with him. But I think too often that’s what we do when we encounter people who don’t have the same interest or knowledge about things we take for granted. If we wish them to share that interest or knowledge, then we must be welcoming!

It’s also not a big leap to start disparaging others for daring to believe something different. I think we’re in a situation that has gone way past our typical two-party system divides, and instead the question we currently face is whether we are able to continue the American experiment with democracy. But if I hate you and think you’re stupid for disagreeing with me, and you hate me and think the same thing, we’re never going to get anywhere. None of us are going to change our minds if we’re being demonized. We have to open up our ears and our hearts to each other, especially those on the “other side.”

I recently listened to a podcast with Ezra Klein and James Talarico—Talarico is a former high school teacher from Texas turned state representative who is running for the Senate. He’s also a seminary student. I don’t share his religious beliefs, but I do agree with him 100% that we must shift from a politics of hate to a politics of love. Because only then—and it may not be enough, but we must try—is there a way forward that brings us together without tearing families and our country apart. Bad Bunny’s messages in the halftime show underscored this point: “The only thing more powerful than hate is love,” and “Together, we are America.”

So, if you have any friends or family members who disagree with you, or are clueless about Bad Bunny, let them know you still love them, okay? And for anyone who needs a bit of encouragement, remember this message Bad Bunny shared on the field:

“Mi nombre es Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio, y si hoy estoy aquí en el Super Bowl 60, es porque nunca, nunca dejé de creer en mí. Tú también deberías de creer en ti. Vales más de lo que piensas. Confía en mí.” (Forbes.com)

Translation: “My name is Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio, and if I’m here today at Super Bowl 60, it’s because I never, ever stopped believing in myself. You should also believe in yourself. You’re worth more than you think. Trust me.”

For more information click below:

• Bad Bunny’s life and work (Biography.com)
• Cultural references in Bad Bunny’s halftime show (Forbes.com)
• Interview between Ezra Klein and James Talarico (NYTimes.com)

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Organizations like Braver Angels continue to do important work related to a politics of love, by creating spaces for people across political divides to genuinely listen to each other with curiosity and respect.

Yes, I went to college with Cory Booker. We lived in the same freshman dorm, although I rarely saw him. It was a big dorm and he was on the football team, so like the other athletes he was always busy with classes, homework, practices and games.

I have other friends who know him well, and I can say with confidence that he is the real deal. He genuinely cares about people, wants to make things better, and he believes in the power of love. Plus, he is a bad-ass – in case you missed it, he gave a speech on the Senate floor this week that lasted for 25 hours and 4 minutes. No food, no bathroom breaks. He fasted for days beforehand to make sure that he wouldn’t have to go. And no sitting down, ever. The only breaks he got were when other senators asked him questions, and then he could rest his voice – but not sit down. Those are the rules.

I could barely stay awake that long, much less stand for that many hours! And certainly, I wouldn’t be coherent. But he was, and unlike other long speeches before him (he broke the record for longest Senate speech previously held by Strom Thurmond, who spoke for 24 hours and 18 minutes in 1957, arguing against the adoption of the Civil Rights bill), his speech was all substance. There was no reading of kids’ books or the encyclopedia. He and his team had binders of content – letters from constituents, both Democrats and Republicans. Stats. Stories. And he told many more of his own, extemporaneously. I can’t do that even when well rested!

Why put yourself through all that? To make the point that we are in what he termed a “moral moment.” He said that what’s happening in our country now is “not about left or right. It’s about right or wrong.” And that the only thing that could potentially shift the trajectory is us – the American people. Not him, not any one person. But hundreds or thousands of people coming together to make their voices heard. Like John Lewis and others marching across the Edmund Pettus Bridge. The Suffrage movement to gain women the right to vote. Gandhi’s peaceful revolution to obtain India’s independence. Martin Luther King Jr. and the March on Washington. The Solidarity movement in Poland. Nelson Mandela’s nonviolent protests to end Apartheid in South Africa. And the list goes on…

I know there are Americans who are happy with the actions the Trump administration is taking, including some of my friends. So, the rest of this post is probably not for them.* But for those who are concerned – and I count myself as one of them – Booker’s test of endurance confirmed for me the power we have when we come together. And the importance of doing so.

An opportunity to do just that is this Saturday, April 5^th. All the major progressive groups are banding together, across the country, for a day of peaceful, nonviolent protest to declare “Hands Off!” Hands off our democracy, Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, LGBTQ rights, immigrant rights, free speech, due process, and more. Right now, there are over 1200 protests planned across the United States and even overseas. The goal is to have as many people as possible in as many places as possible.

I urge you to join me and what is likely to be millions of others this Saturday. Speak up. Stand up. Even if you never protest, or protests aren’t your thing – if you’re worried about the direction this administration is taking our country, this is the one to go to. If Cory Booker can stand up for 25 hours, we can get ourselves to a peaceful protest. Where we can be in community and remind ourselves that we are not alone. Because we’re not.

Go to https://handsoff2025.com/ to find an event near you. Hope to see you out there, making good – and I believe, necessary – trouble.

* I understand if this isn’t what you signed up for but I’d love for you to stay, and share your thoughts with me, especially if we disagree. I promise to listen.

I worked a Voting Center in Northern California for three days leading up to the election, and on Election Day itself. I’ve thought about being a poll worker before, but never actually made it happen. This year, after hearing about a possible shortage due to more mature workers not wanting the exposure to the corona virus, I decided I would apply.

As it turned out, my county got lots of applications, which is reassuring – plenty of people care about our democracy. I only got assigned because I called the office to check on my status, and I’m glad I did. It was the perfect way to channel my energy during this election period. Long days, for sure – we started at 6am on Election Day and didn’t finish until a little after 9pm – but it was well worth it.

We helped lots of first-time voters, of all ages (the oldest I saw was 76!); saw lots of family members bringing in other family members to be sure they voted; helped quite a few blind or visually disabled folks vote using the accessible machines; and we even helped a few homeless people vote (conditionally, since they didn’t have an address, but they could vote that way)!

We weren’t the busiest polling place, as we were in downtown Sacramento surrounded by state agencies. Many of those workers are now working from home, so even during the week we weren’t as busy as the centers in the suburbs. And on the weekend – especially on October 31, Halloween, it was “deadly” quiet. But it picked up on Monday, and on Election Day we saw 3 or 4 times as many voters as we had even on Monday. In fact, county wide, more people voted on Election Day than had the entire 10 days of early voting!

What was interesting to me is that I think most of us poll workers were there because we cared about the election, and were concerned about it being fair. But we weren’t all on the same side of the political aisle. How is it that both sides are convinced the other side is going to try to steal it? This is the bigger question that we, as a nation, are going to have to tackle. Whether you’re a Democrat or a Republican or any other party or independent, most people, I believe, ultimately want similar things – a decent job, to be treated fairly, to feel valued and like their voice is heard, to be taken care of if they get sick, to feel a part of a community.

We have different ideas about how that should happen. But we have to find a way to come together on the things we do agree about. So in a strange way, I found it reassuring that my fellow poll workers and I were all wanting to keep our elections safe and fair, even if we were sure it was each other who was the problem. But really, it wasn’t each other. Sure, there are people – extremists, I would say – on each side who are pressing their advantage, and often treading into unethical if not illegal territory. But most people are trying to do the right thing, and do their civic duty. Surely we can build on that.

To me, all of this is tied to the quest to show up as our best selves. A never ending quest, to be sure, but the more frequently we are able to tap into the best version of ourselves, the more likely we are to be able to really listen and hear other people – and see the best in them. I think we can all use more of that.

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And for fun – check out these great ballot cartoon characters that a fellow poll worker, Eben Burgoon drew!

In my last Summit Register, I wrote about my unearned privilege and my fear that I wouldn’t take action. Here’s my report card: C+. It’s not that I’ve done nothing, but I certainly haven’t done enough.

And now, of course, it’s in the news again. Another shooting of an unarmed Black man (actually, there have been several, but this most recent one – of Jacob Blake, shot in front of his children – has again led to protests, counter-protests, and viligantes taking the law into their own hands, even meting out the death penalty).

I’ve heard many friends say that they don’t understand the emphasis on “Black Lives” – why don’t all lives matter, they ask? Of course, all lives do matter! But that’s missing the point. The best analogy I’ve seen is to imagine a row of houses, and one house is on fire. Of course, the neighborhood would rally to put out the fire at that house, right? It needs the most urgent attention; it’s in the most danger. That doesn’t mean that the other houses don’t also matter – but they’re not threatened with burning down at the moment.

Black lives are being threatened at a much higher rate than white lives – that’s just the reality of the world we live in and the society we have created. And the Black Lives Matter movement is trying to rally those who aren’t Black, whose houses aren’t burning down, whose children and fathers and brothers aren’t being shot, to step up – or at the very least, to realize what’s happening, instead of turning a blind eye. At least, that’s how I see it.

I have certainly done some re-education for myself since I last wrote – learning from Black friends who are doing the hard work of trying to explain what it is like to be Black in this country, and the toll that takes as you are constantly having to prove yourself, defend yourself, and fear for your safety, over and over.

I’ve donated to organizations that are doing the heavy lifting to fight these battles in the courts (the NAACP Legal Defense Fund), interrupt the prison pipeline (the Bail Project), and get out the vote (Voting While Black/Color for Change and Fair Fight).

I ordered books from a Black-owned bookstore – Ibram X. Kendi’s How to Be An Anti-Racist and Stacey Abrams’ Our Time is Now. And I joined a Facebook group that is reading, journaling on, and discussing Me and White Supremacy, by Layla Saad.

With friends back in California, I’ve been writing letters to encourage people to vote through Vote Forward.  Our little group has written over 2,500 letters, and we’re aiming for 5,000 by October.

So these are all good things – but many of them feel like unfulfilled promises. I ordered those three books, but I’ve only read one (Abrams’ book on voter suppression, which I highly recommend). I’ve read the introduction to Me and White Supremacy, which is fascinating, but that’s as far as I have gotten.  And I haven’t even cracked the cover on How to Be An Anti-Racist. I’ve also only managed to write 20 letters for Vote Forward since I’ve been in the Tetons.

All of this brings me back to the analogy about Black Lives Matter. I see that the Black Lives Matter house is burning down. But my house is further down the block, so it’s not in danger of burning down itself. And I’m no expert in fighting fires, nor am I sure what to do to put the fire out. I figure that it’s best left to the fire department. And in any case, I’m busy keeping my own house up – the cleaning, the gardening, the painting, all the little things that a house needs. So it’s easy to turn away – even though I know my neighbor’s house is burning down the street – and get caught up in my own world.

First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a socialist.
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.
-Martin Niemoller (1892-1984), Lutheran minister

I share this poem because I think that it applies to me, today. Because I’m not Black, or trans, or a member of any number of other groups, I’m not speaking out very loudly. I might be doing more than some, but I’m not doing as much as I could do. And in large part, it’s because I feel impotent, unsure what I could do that would make a difference, and busy enough with my own life that it’s far too tempting to not get involved.

So, here’s what I’m committing to in the immediate future – I’ve been setting aside 10% of my income for donations and have accumulated a decent sum (for me). It doesn’t do any good sitting in my savings account, so I’m pledging to donate all of it by the beginning of October. If you know other good organizations, let me know!

Because I know I do better with external deadlines, I am joining an alumni book group that will be discussing How to Be an Anti-Racist the first week of October, and I will commit to reading the book by then.

I’ll also commit to writing 20 letters each week for Vote Forward between now and the beginning of October, and continue talking to my friends and family about how now is the time to act – not complain – as I try to do that better myself. I have hopefully convinced my mom and several friends that this is something they can do that might have a small impact. If you want to join us, you’d be more than welcome!

It’s still not enough – but it’ll be more than I have been doing. I share this in hopes that it inspires you to do more of whatever you feel is the right thing to do. While I realize in our current environment this could be viewed as very partisan, I don’t mean it to be. I think what I’m talking about applies to all of us, regardless of our political beliefs. And if 2020 has taught us anything, it’s that nothing can be taken for granted. Including the privilege that many of us have to sit back and watch, rather than help put those fires out.

And if you’re wondering what this has to do with coaching, it has everything to do with coaching! Coaching is all about helping us get closer to the best version of ourselves – something we’ll never reach, but that hopefully we are always striving for. You’re seeing my efforts to coach myself to step up and do what I know I’m capable of doing. I may fall short – in fact, I undoubtedly will, again and again – but the important thing is to get back up and keep on trying.